The Words

Clearly, i am utterly dissapointed at certain people these days.

I do not understand the fact of it, nor would i want to know about it, actually.

I expected more, actually, with them being an adult or more open-minded than all of us.

But some things just never change in the world of humanity. And that is why we are condemned to be humans.

I truly believe that.

Guess i would just have to have my say before i do anything... appropriate, if that is what i'm doing right now. This is a waste of my time and energy.

Of course i miss writing in my blog. Of course i want to write every single day. I love writing. But my pretty little metallic box just had to bust up when i needed it the most. So you understand my unfortunate situation. It cannot be helped, apparently.

But what is the most apt reaction of a 15 year old girl, i ask you. What do you expect teenagers like me - in this age and day - to do? That we should not cuss/ curse, that we should not speak crude languages? And i ask of you, what century is this? What kind of world we're living in? That women had to wear clothes that covers from head to toe, that woman couldn't speak in public without a man beside her? Wrong. We are in the 21st century. Poeple all around the world are speaking like this. So whether you like it or not, suck it up.

I do not understand the fuss that people are making nowadays. We can speak whatever we want, use whatever words we choose, and do whatever we want to do, don't we? So what is wrong with cussing? Don't we all do that? Don't you all ADULTS do that, especially? And yet here we are, complaining and feeding little gossips to each other. I do not know whether it is jealousy, or genuine concern. What would you have me do, my dear friends, when i cuss just to express myself better? Just to tell you how much i needed it right now?

People, people... I am just a human, after all. And humans do make unintended mistakes.

But, all past aside, i really should not have cursed to vulgarly. I was wrong, and i admit it. But some people just had to sit back and watch it all like a very good movie. Well, i'm here to tell you, my dear sir, that i am a 15 year old girl who does anything she likes and say anything she desires. What i do not like, i don't do, and what i love, i put everything into it. So if you want to judge, if any of you want to judge, please do it in front of my face and spare my innocent father and my most supportive mother. I do not care of your age or your status, but if you are wrong, i will not hesitate to 'correct' you.

Poeple assume too quickly about things these days. I simply have no patience for it sometimes.

Anyway, i apologize for everything, and whatever things i had yet to do. Please do not be offended or 'discouraged'. I do not mean anything. And for my fomality in my language, well - let's just say i read too much Anne Rice. The Queen of the Damned is simply AWESOME!!!

To come to the conclusion, i have wrote a book. The title 'My 'Sweet' 17'. Please support this fully. I promise, there are no crude words in this book, lol. This book means a lot to me, and i really hope no 'harm' comes to this. You may offend the author, but not the product, please. To order/buy, please go to www.redleadbooks.com. Please look for it under Fiction. I thank all of you.

Jocelyn

Short Update

Bonjour.

Today is the 10th of May - HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woots! To every mother in this world, may you be a good mother or a bad one (I'm sure there are no such things as bad mothers in this world) Happy Mother's Day. You deserve this day because without you, we don't exist. So thank you!

Anyway, today, SMK Alor Akar had its annual Hari Anugerah - prize giving day? As the conductor for the school's choir team (no, i do not think choir is lame/ bad/ stupid. If you think it is, then go far away), the choir team is requested - or rather, demanded - to perform on this day.

To tell you the truth, i was damn lazy to perform at first. To perform, we need to practise and skip classes (not that i mind this part) and make some more parts for the national song and state song. Lol. I don't really mind either or that, but the most unbearable part was to dress up and tie-up for the day. Ugh, ridiculous. Preposterous!

But to get together with the whole choir team again, now that was very cool...

I miss choir.

So, after the performance and everything, i went to SMART school for their 'niaga' thing - after a long and silent treatment from me to my mother, lol. Hehe. But at last she gave in, didn't she? That was what counts. But of course, it came with a price, but it was a price that i am willing to pay and like to pay. The place was effin hot (in the middle of the field during noon), and i came home looking like charcoal (of course I'm exaggerating, do you even need to ask?).

But i had fun, met loads of people there. Almost performed there with the rest (Marcus, Carl, Paul and Jason) but i needed to go back early 'cause i had to go to Yamaha for practise. I WANTED TO PERFORM THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alas, it was not meant to be. Haiz.

Oh, oh, Nazim came back. How i wish the twins are back too, then we can go lepak together... JAYCEE AND JASMINE COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, i'm watching Mulan right now. Lol. Old cartoon, but fantastic music. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Disney channel rules - sometimes.

And so this is what i did today. I am dead tired, i want to sleep and i shall sleep - perhaps at one o'clock in the morning eh? Lol. So dear readers, ciao!


Jocelyn

Classical music

Heyya.

Recently, i've been watching a Japanese drama/movie - introduced by my piano teacher, Miss Florence, and many of her other students. I'm so glad i watched it. It is an awesome series called 'Nodame Cantabile'. Of course, for those of you who learn music, you would know what Cantabile means.

As you can see from the title, this series is all about classical music (Mozart, Beethoven, Bhrams, George Gershwin, Chopin, Liszt, Schubert... you know, all those), ochestras and it all happened with a bunch of talented students in a music college in Japan. It is awesome. Hilarious, yet meaningful at the same time. The movie/drama was originated an anime and manga, but later on became this real life Japanese music drama - if that's what it's called.

Anyway, besides being here promoting 'Nodame Cantabile', i'm here to give you guys a glimpse/ ear-full of classical music with full MTV by Waltz Disney Fantasia 2000 as well. Below are the videos i adore so much since i was 8.

Dance of Hours


The Pines of Rome


Rhapsody in Blue (Because i couldn't emb it, i decided to put the link here)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jK_ShoOL2ao&fmt=18

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDsPydW3Y54&feature=related&fmt=18

The Steadfast Tin Soldier

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UqmcW1QZTU&feature=related&fmt=18

Firebird Suite


Fantasia Flamingo

Now all these are great music, music which i had grew up with and is very fond of composed by brilliant composers. I respect these particular music and i hope anyone who saw these videos can find the perfect angle of it.

I shall sign off here. Goodnight/ goodmorning/ good afternoon.

PS, I am officially in love with Hugh Jackman. He is a talented guy and he can SING!!

Jocelyn

Express

I do not know whether i should be cursing or congratulating, hating or loving those who went for Leehom's concert. Bloody lucky, if you ask me.

On second thoughts, do not ask me anything. I'll be pissing my head off of you.

Anyway, I'm just here to express what I'm feeling these last few days - if express is what I'm even doing right now. By the time I'm finished, this blog would be bursting into flames and acid drops that burns your way where it touched.

Oh, before i go any further, I LOVE WOLVERINE ORIGINS!!!! IT IS ONE OF THE BEST SHOWS I'VE WATCHED AND I SHALL PERSONALLY STRANGLE ANY OF YOU WHO SAID IT IS A BAD MOVIE.

Oh, i just love Gambit...

Everyone looks so cool here.

Perhaps I'm in love with Hugh Jackman.

I LOVE GAMBIT/ Taylor!! He's so cool, lol.

One of the best movies I've ever watched, so far. For more information, watch the movie yourself!!

So, back to my main purpose of this post. Have you ever had anyone whom you respect and love a lot (as a friend and brother) that just because of something you didn't even say or do, accuse you and throw damn bloody harsh words at your face? Well, trust me, that feeling bloody hurts and it isn't, well, pleasant. Not at all, no.

Anyway, see, we had this situation which is not-so-complicated and not-so-hurtful (one that i am not going to reveal to you), once you look at the whole big picture, and someoneS just made this whole thing a huge bitch. I dunno why, nor would i want to know (i actually already know, but it's just better if i don't dwell on the memory at all) but that is just a stupidly huge misunderstanding.

But one that i am not willing to forgive and forget, nor kiss and make up and pretend everything didn't happen and live happily ever after.

Yes, i hold long grudges, and yes, i am very hot-headed and easily pissed off - if you pissed me off. But this is one bloody hell of a stupid thing to do and say and something i cannot understand. I won't understand. This whole shit of a situation just made me see that some certain people in this world, no matter how close you were or how best friend-ish you were, can just change in a blink of an eye, turn his back to you in a blink of a bloody eye and stab you in the back with those bloody knives of his and put salt in your wounds after that just because of something he didn't make certain of nor confront you of in the first bloody place.

I would just not talk to the person forever. I think I'd like that. And i wouldn't give a damn if you said that I'm an idiot that hold stupidly long grudges just because of a stupid misunderstanding. As far as I'm concerned, i live my own life and i do not need you to teach me morals. Not everyone is a goody-two-shoe, and i don't plan on becoming one either.

Sorry, that came out wrong. My intentions weren't harsh.

Okayy. Now that i've expressED everything i wanna say, sorry for all the cussing and cursing and foul language. But this is an exception, i think, and as long as i ain't pissed off (or too excited), i won't curse or cuss. Thank you for bearing and reading on after the first curse word. Lol.

Jocelyn

Once upon a f-ing long time...

I am a total failure.

Yes, it is true.

I do not deny it.

No, no, please. I AM a total failure.

How could i let my blog DIE in such a horrible way?? Where nobody to 'feed' it, nobody to 'care' for it and nobody to 'love' it. It died, rot, and is now buried deep down into the ground - with a coffin (like a vampire, perhaps?). I didn't even bother to visit it after so damn many people asking me to 'update' my visiting hours.

I am a failure as a 'mom' and a blogger. Shit.

Time to dig it up again.

Anyway, to make up for it, i shall give you hell. Yes, i am totally obsessed with the All American Rejects now. I am listening to their songs every single day, non stop, repeating and repeating it until my sister is about to smack my phone straight to hell - so that i can never retrieve it again.

For those of you who don't know - yes, i shall kill you if you don't after this when i ask you - it is a band. An American band. You can tell from its name, as you can clearly see. It contains four members - Tyson, Nick, Chris and Mike.

Tyson has really blue eyes... You can practically drown into oblivion in them - good oblivion, i mean.

Before i go any further, everything in my life is going on quite okay. I can breathe, i can eat, i can drink. My body is functioning well and i think it should be able to live on to 56 years -- Oh, everything in my life is okay. School is fine (never bother to finish my homework), band is going...well, songs and writing are inspiring me really well ( i dunno where the hell those ideas came from, but i am glad for them nonetheless). I still love Paramore and Avenged Sevenfold, i missed a lot of movies, i have interest in Hey Monday (a new band), i read tonnes of books (i am not exaggerating), i learn to like and respect Demi Lovato 'cause she's an awesome singer and i wanna tell you guys so much but i forgotten what i wanna say...

Anyway, here are some pictures of the All American Rejects - well, mostly Tyson, i like him the most. Hehe.

See his eyes?? SEE HIS EYES!!


Tyson and his 6-years-long girlfriend, Kim.

They say that Tyson looks like the Smallville fella, Tom Welling. I am not so sure about that. Do they now?

Look at Tyson!! He looks so silly!! Even from here you can see his blue eyes...

Now this is one huge picture.

The ALL AMERICAN REJECTS!!

Anyway, here are some videos that i've been meaning to post up here a long time ago. They're Paramore, but in HD. Make damn sure you watch them and really listen to them.

Pressure



Crushcrushcrush



Misery Business



Love's Not a Competition



Decode



That's what You Get



Emergency

This next song touched deep into me. Its called We Are Broken, by Paramore.


Now this song is by the Al American Rejects. Gives You Hell.


I love this video. Tyson is so funny!!

And the next video is by Demi Lovato. This song is awesome, it pulls at my heart and the video is very sincere. I dunno how to explain it, but its just is.

Don't Forget

Alright, i shall 'pen' off here. I shall end with a thing of my own.

Deny not, my sweet, the sole reason. The eclipse above us can cover not what they see. Try to hide it not, my beloved, the sole reason. Of my being with you, the chances are there. But if you wanna leave, then go, pack your things and leave none behind...

We Are Broken - Paramore

Jocelyn

Just a short Breeze

Hey everyone, i am so damn tired right now.

I didn't mean to swear in my first sentence, i swear, and not to mention when i am greeting all of you guys too. But seriously, i am so damn tired i would fall asleep straight away if i hit my bed headfirst. Yes, i am that tired.

But unfortunately, no such luck. I am not in my bedroom, i am not even at home! I am in my mum's office, using her staff's computer and blogging. Yes, this isn't my own computer, damn it.

I was supposed to be doing my sejarah assignment (elemen 1) but i was done (damn many pages i had to print. Waste ink and money. Damn it). So i decided to have a small entry/ drop by and greet all my fellow friends - while reading Before I Wake by Kathryn Smith. One of my favourite romance/fiction writer. She's awesome, let me tell you. If you ever get a chance to stumble over her books (perhaps some bookstores in KL like Popular, MPH, Borders), make damn sure you snag one book (or more) back - for me or just for yourself. Lol.

So this past week had been crazy. I am so totally into our band - Ceremony at the Avenue. We had practice, like, three days in a row, and then we hung out. It was an awesome time. We don't just hang out as musicians, but as friends too. That's the best part of it. I am very glad to be able to know such wonderful people in my life.

Anyway, as i am sucking this lollipop in my mouth (strawberry flavor, mind you), i am thinking about my whole 15 years. Ever since i was born, i was the 'guinea pig'. I was the firstborn, the eldest among my other siblings, and the first to experience everything. Ever since i was born, i was like the head, my parents knocking me into everything they could ever think of. Bringing me for music lessons (not that i wasn't grateful of), letting me write, have diving licence, the first one to have my own golf set, father bringing me into the field to play golf, treating me like pearl/ prisoner...

To tell you the truth, i kinda suck at being the first child of the family. I am irresponsible, not to mention utterly lazy (lol) and i don't count as those merciful nice big sister. In fact, I'm very much your worse big sister you could ever imagine. Well, not that bad, but you get what i mean.

So, yeah. Just trying to explain what it felt like to be a big sister. Those of you who had elder siblings, well, good luck at dodging them (coz they ain't going anywhere). Those of you who are the elder siblings, I'm sure you understand what i meant. But try not to bully your younger siblings a lot, or they're going to get mommy and daddy *mocking*.

I shall leave you to your thoughts here. This might be a sarcastic post/ update, but honestly, i have nothing to report. I ain't a philosopher, to explain things in life and stuff, but i ain't a babbler too. Regard this as a tiny breez for me to breathe and empty my head. Yes, i am writing/ composing again. Hopefully everything goes well once i dive into it again.


Jocelyn

The Choir Competition

First of all...

ALL YOU SMKAA CHOIR PEOPLE!!!! LISTEN UP!! YOU GUYS WERE GREAT/ AWESOME/ SMOKIN' HOT & PRETTY/ PERFECT/ FANTASTIC!! I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU GUYS (as your silly conductor) AND WE SHALL TRY THIS AGAIN (anytime, any day, any place)!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, now. On the 1st of April (i know, i know, ironic isn't it? Choir Competition on April Fool. It's a wonder if the result they had given us were really meant to fool us) we had our annually choir competition - district level. As usual, these schools were fighting - hard - to win/ bite each other's necks off. SMK Aor Akar, SABS (Sultan Abu Bakar) and MGS (Methodist Girls School). We were practically 'arch-enemies' since the beginning of year 2007. Well, not really, but you get my drift.

On that morning, my sister and I woke up at 5 30AM for hair-do and warmed up our voices. We weren't actually singing, but why not set a good example for the rest of them? So when we were done, mum sent us to school at 6 30 sharp, reached there 6 35 sharp, and met all of my 'warriors'.

At 8 AM sharp, we left our school.

To be frank, we were awesome that day. We were very good, very neat and very well done. We couldn't have done any better, honestly. They were singing most beautifully/ magically/ angelic on the day of the competition itself! If i wasn't careful, i might as well have cried onstage. Really, they were awesome. They ARE awesome!! I am so proud of them.

SMKAA (choir) ROCKS!

It was the most beautiful, the most wonderful experience and the most honourable pleasure to be standing there with so many wonderful and talented people, working with them and singing with them. They were the best team that was formed, and the best singers i ever knew. And to be able to train with so many capable peoples... It was almost unbelievable.

Yes, i admit the training session was tough/ hard/ madness. We cried, we were sad, we even argued. But who said everything was going to be easy? If it were easy, we wouldn't be humans now, would we? When it comes to the end though, it was all worth it, wasn't it? We did our best, we tried our best, and if the result was that, i couldn't have asked for a better end. And so, i fully accept the result that was bestowed upon us, and i am very proud of it.

Not that we weren't good, remember that. We were good, very good, but they were more capable, and they were more experienced. We learned from them, and we shall keep that learning. Most importantly, we gained experience - to do better!

And so, SMKAA Choir-ians, we shall try again next year. Special thanks to Eevonne, Jordan, Jasher, Suzzane, Tiff, Shar Min, Joyce, Li Ann, Rufus, Joel and everyone whose names that isn't uttered here, but shall always be remembered. We were a team, and we shall be a team again!

Once again, congratulations everyone! SABS, great job guys! You deserved it fully! MGS, do not fret, there's always a next year!

PS, Keep on smiling, y'all!


Jocelyn