To say that i am well prepared... would be an over-statement.
I am not ready, at all. I don't even know why i'm here rather that sit in front of the piano (which is only a meter away from me) practicing. Or the violin. I mean, it's so easy to shut down this laptop right now and just get my butt over the piano chair and start playing my exam songs. But nooooo, i have to sit here, writing in my blog (wasting my time). And i don't feel so good having to sit here after only 30 minutes of my lunch. I'm used to standing after a meal for about an hour (to not let the food go straight down to my butt and making it look mega sized. I really need to hit the gym tomorrow right after my exams). But i'm too anxious now! I need to write! Writing calms my nerves and sorts things out for me in my head where thoughts could be a war zone up there! Can you blame me?! My exams' tomorrow!
I need my green tea.
Guess i really have loads of faith in God. Which is a good thing, to have full faith in Him. Then He'll bestow me some miracles during my exam. Make the examiner faint, perhaps? Prolly because of my horrendous playing. Then i'll get to write my own marks and everything and i'll get good results! Yes, maybe that'll happen! Gosh, i'm insane.
I think the only reason i'll be able to scrape through this exam is because of my ability to "cover up my mistakes" (my piano teacher's words), which, in other words, is called "cheating" (my violin teacher's words). Really, both of them said that, which is the same thing. I'm such a failure as a student.
And now my sister has to put more guilt in me by practicing the piano perfectly only a meter away from me. She doesn't know she's making me guilty, i'm just feelin' it. But it'll prolly make her day if she knew.
To tell you the truth, i'm not scared. At all. Not for the exam, not at the thought of having the exam in less than 24 hours. It's like PMR all over again. But this is a tad bit more important. I just want to pass right and get the results to apply scholarships to wherever i can. I guess this is important. Really important, for me. But i'll just have to stay calm and be steady about it. I don't do things well when i'm nervous. I should know. I'm me. I understand myself (though sometimes i don't when i'm confuse/high/hyped up and so on). But then again, i don't get nervous or frightened for these kinda things easily. I prefer playing my songs in front of a stranger and pretend he/she has never heard the song before and just do my thing. Then i can really do it well. With mistakes and all. But i'll prolly be able to cover them all up. In front of a stranger.
Gosh, i'll need to do sit-ups tonight. Feeling bloated. Not a very good sign.
And one more thing. DESIREE EVELYN SANTA MARIA YOU'RE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! SPM's over for you! And it'll be over for me as well tomorrow (I mean my piano & violin exams. Not SPM. That'll have to wait until next year this time. Shit)!! Let's hang!!!
We were online the other day and we made plans to do loads of stuffs when we are both available. And tomorrow's it! After my exams, of course. Shite, i keep repeating them like i need any more reminding. Sheesh. I've got to get dresses for the up coming parties/prom. And shoes! And accessories! And make-ups! Yes! Definitely make-ups! I'm a make-up freak!
OH shut up. I'm still a girl. I can do girly things too sometimes. And i happen to love make-up. So sue me.
I promised myself i would write whatever i feel like writing in here and end it at 2:30pm, which was half an hour ago, and start practicing. So i'm over due! Gotta go, lads and lassies. Got a date with the piano and violin. Till next time then, i guess.
Lots of love, Jo
